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School ~after dark~

After three emotionally draining days back at the grind I just shut down. It happened after the first (horrible) football halftime marching band show. I had to walk back through the empty school to grab a Spanish book out of my locker. In the basement where my locker is I just froze and lied down in the empty school hallway. With 20/20 hindsight I realize that I could of gotten some horrible disease from the dirty floor. Only half the lights were on so the usual ridiculous brightness of the school was replaced by a oddly comfortable dimness. It was pretty cold down there, almost uncomfortably so, but I had just spent the last hour marching in a wool uniform so I didn't mind. It was so odd and empty, made more creepy by the feeling that people are going to come bursting out of the classrooms any minute. I kinda liked it though.

Either way, I'm never going there after hours again.


Posted on 27 August, 2005 | Post Page |

Going from doing nothing worth something to doing something I care nothing about.

Unless the teachers go and strike on us, school for me starts tomorrow. In celebration of this, um..., not bad event I'm going to predict the mindless routene that my day will consist of.

  • I predict a massive headache around eleven thirty A.M. that will not go away until I fall asleep seventh period.

  • I predict a total for thirteen awkward conversations that consist of the question "What did you do this summer?" folowed by the answer "Nothing" or some other varation of that event with simular meaning.

  • I will likly see a total of nineteen makeout sessions in the middle of the hallway, slowing down the alredy congested hallways.

  • A total of three of those couples will still be together in three weeks.

  • While this is unlikly, I will award extra points to the school for preforming a swich up and one of the makeout couples is gay. I'm not counting on it though.

    May god save us all.


    Chicago Tribune | Naperville teachers consider strike

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    Posted on 23 August, 2005 | Post Page |

    I go to the dentist purely for the comedy value.

    Dentists have this kind of exorcist vibe about them. They painfully pull the demons out of the unclean mouths of their patients. Then they give grave warnings to end the evil sins of eating candy and not brushing your teeth. I think that my dentist is trying to get rid of that image of dentistry. He gives chocolate to his patients when we leave, Yoo-hoos and Snapples as well (And wine for the over twenty-ones, most of which are about to drive home). It's kinda ridiculous, like he's trying to make sure that we all get cavities and keep him in business.

    Now he has gone and conquered the business next to his office and expanded his practice. I think that half of that new space was used for the huge waiting room. It's all silver and black and oddly sci-fi, kind of a feature cathedral of dentistry. Perfect for the kids. The same thing goes, in a sarcastic way, for the soft classical music pumped through the speakers. Kinda surreal when a metal pick is in your mouth. And to make things even more weird this hangs on the wall:

    Yes! Dentistry is touching God! Through the mouth!


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    One time at band camp: Shaving cream, dirty floors, ultimate frisbee and complex inter-dimensional physics.

    After a week of busting my rump at Marching Band camp I discovered three things:

    1: While the theme music for Silverado is awesome to play, it doesn't make up for the fact that the title segment for the movie is just plain boring.

    2: It is possible to travel between parallel universes.

    3: When your legs hurt is not a good idea to play ultimate Frisbee.


    I learned number one during one of the most painful required funs I have ever experienced. On Friday night the band directors corralled us into the dining hall to tell the band how proud they are of us. I think one of them got something in his eye. Then they locked us in the main lodge to sit on the dirty floor and watch Silverado. The room and speakers seemed to be designed so the fewest possible number of people could hear what was going on. The reason for this confinement was so that we weren't free to roam after dark. Last year some kids, most of which have quit band, burned drill charts. Give teenagers an inch... Thankfully the directors forgot to guard the doors on the lower floor. I escaped by saying that I had to go the bathroom down there and just waking out.


    Something close to following conversation happened at the breakfast where I learned number two.

    Cabinmate: Oh dude, why did you wash off the lotion in your hair already?
    Moi: What?
    Cabinmate: Didn't you wake up with lotion in your hair?
    Moi: No.
    Cabinmate: Shaving Cream on your face?
    Moi: Nope
    Cabinmate: What the hell...

    Apparently some dudes from another cabin come into mine and pulled the prank on me. They had pictures even! The only logical explanation for the fact that I woke up with nothing on me is that they actually put the shaving cream on the me in a parallel universe. That poor dude is probably alienating all of his friends right now claiming that they pulled the prank... yet none of them did! Soon said version of me will be all alone friendless until one of his friends gets replaced with a parallel universe one. He doesn't know about the shaving cream incident so they will happily prance through the daisies together.


    During this week I felt these pains in my legs that wouldn't go away. I used up an entire bottle of ibuprofen. After the said Frisbee game I could hardly walk back to my cabin. But I did. I conquer all!


    Silverado at IMDB
    Wikipedia on Parallel Universes


    Posted on 22 August, 2005 | Post Page |

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